i don’t know what i’m going to do about anything else either. living here is driving me crazy. there are constant arguments and i can’t concentrate on anything, i feel like screaming ninety five percent of the time. i don’t really connect with my family anymore. there’s not much that we have in common and i’d rather just not even bother than try to explain myself.

and then there’s relationships… i’m still attempting to get over jon, and it’s working for the most part. i still have my moments, but mostly i just hate his guts now. and then there’s marcel, who i like but i can’t get over my paranoia and distrust. i don’t want to really even get close to anyone anymore. i don’t want to get hurt anymore. and thats stressful too, because i’m so busy worrying about other things that i shouldn’t have to watch my back for people to hurt me.

ugh, i don’t know anymore.